Monday, February 13, 2012

16 Truths

Just a little glimpse into some of the highlights of college, dorm life, the work place and just the funny people that make my life so rich. A shout out to my roommates who are always bringing me towels!

Truth 1: Stinky
You're sitting in class and a classmate beside you knows you to be a generous person, they stick their stinky feet on your chair so they can be more "comfy" but the problem is...they are wearing rain boots without socks and it "sendeth forth a stinking savor"...

Truth 2: Nasty
You're stumble into the dorm after a 3 mile run and are excited to cool off. You jump in the hair and soap residue skuzzded shower and later you find out you have foot fungus. (That's probably why boot person has problems.)

Truth 3: Up Late
Your roommate snores into the night. In the spirit of positivity, you decided the gray rings around the eyes could become the new cosmetic fad.

Truth 4: Humbling
You clean out the dorm fridge having a thorough rant about how girls never label or discard their old food and then you find the chicken casserole you made 2 months ago sitting in the back all
fluffy and green with mold. No alibi.

Truth 5: Napping
You are trying to take a little afternoon nap and your roommate is banging away on her little djembe in the next room. You can either take the high road or the low road in this situation. High road: pray she hears from the Lord that demons need to be cast out of the basement
with her awesome drumming ability. Low road: the djembe takes and unfortunate, little
tumble over a ravine.

Truth 6: Job
You enter the office for your first day of work and realize the guy sharing a desk with you thinks he's a cartoon character. He rolls around on the floor with an imagined hand gun and always
makes you the bad guy in his dramas. How can you honestly refer to anything
else as weird after that?

Truth 7: Crying
You boss lets you call him "Papa Bear" and cries over you everyday because he feels the father heart of God for you. Pretty much makes you feel like a million bucks every day of your

Truth 8: Texas
Your two Texan roommates have more clothes than you, your sister, your best friend and your sister’s best friend combine. But you get to benefit from this little set of circumstance and work the system..."I haven't had time to wash my clothes this week...can I borrow
your shirt...and your scarf...AND your necklace...oh and by the way I don't
have any more clean undies."

Truth 9: Towel
"I need a towel!" You holler. Down the hall to anyone who may hear and take pity on the poor naked person trapped in the bathroom with nowhere to go! Help!

Truth 10: Free Samples
You have a whole plethora of soaps, shampoos and lotions to try out in the bathroom. And no one is looking. Then you can see if you like them for when you decide to fork out the cash and buy them. But sometimes, you just can’t decided if you really like them so you keep
going back for more.

Truth 11: Unexpected Guests
Have you ever heard the phrase, "You never know who may be watching?" Well, this is a big one. So you're wandering around the "girls only" dorm in your little leggings and tank with your
messy bun and suddenly you hear a masculine voice. Where could it be coming from? Ahh! You scream and realize that one of the girls is skyping her boyfriend and he can see you! Scurry away!

Truth 12: Fowl Odors
The hallway always smells like...well a mixture of all things bad. Is it the people? Gas from the people? The trash the people let pile up? The rotting food in the fridge the people never clean? The hair clogged in the drain—cast off of the people? You may never know.

Truth 13: Celebrate
After sweating for an entire summer enduring unbearable heart with no air conditioning, staff leadership decided to tweak the modesty policy just a bit. The tank strap thickness was moved from a three finger to a two finger--oh ya! (Shorts still have to be knee length--perhaps some class to follow much younger and braver than we will be able to win this battle, but for now we celebrate our victories.)

Truth 14: Work
When you work at a Christian College, work rarely happens, just
a lot of prayer.

Truth 15: Confession
After living in a Christian community for a good amount of time, you just have to be raw and honest and say you get tired of hearing “Christianees” like: Manifestation, anointing, Holy Ghost Party, and weird ones like “zapped by the Holy Spirit.” Don’t get me wrong, these are just fine, but sometimes it just gets to be a little much. Picking up what I'm throwin' down?

Truth 16: Cafe
We call it the cafe. It’s where we get our food. High in carbs, minimum protein (and most of that is mystery meat). There is a small enduring clan of us with food allergies who still have not gone extinct. We survive off of dry lettuce as we watch the stronger ones bit into their Juicy Lucy’s vigorously, pinkish oil dribbles from their lips. You sniff the fragrance it wafts and take another
bit of dry lettuce. We will survive.

Hope this entertained you a little.




  1. LOL this was quite entertaining! :) is truth 6 really real....really?!? Was this a game of truth and dare? Keep telling the truth like this and people won't be able to help but smile. :)

    God bless and Happy V day :)

    p.s. I was definitely "Picking up" what you were "throwin' down" regarding truth 15 :)

  2. Haha!
    All these were actually things that happened to me this year and no it wasn't truth or dare :) Kinda like to confess just for funzies. The person mentioned in Truth 6 is a real human being. Probably the craziest person I've ever met--like every boy superman on helium.

  3. All this year and it's only february, you can look forward to so many more "truths" to come. ;)
    oh so you weren't playing truth or dare? well it's never to late to start. :)
    Haha! Sounds like you may need to borrow some kryptonite, at least work won't be boring, you just gotta think counter attack LOL.

    So what's truth 17? :)

    P.S. Truth 5...High road or Low?

  4. Well...not technically THIS year if you're going to be all literal about it. What I meant was: In the last year.
    Kryptonite, eh? Perhaps. Perhaps.
    Truth 17? Is still fresh (having happened today). time has not seasoned it for my amusement yet. But there it goes...
    Truth: 17
    So you're already overwhelmed with homework, lack of sleep and just peoples needs. You get an email from your profs assistant saying that last weeks theology assignment you submitted was incomplete. Incomplete? You think, you spent your entire weekend on that assignment. It was MLA perfection! And the Apostle Paul would have been proud of your explanation on Romans 8. But alack...You open the file you sent her and realized that all the work you did was mysteriously deleted. You burst into tears and have this sudden urge to throw eggs at cement walls and drop a watermelon from the top of a 50 story building.

    Sorry...had to tell the truth.

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  6. I posted a response to this earlier today but it seems to have mysteriously vanished (no lie, weird right) anyway it was probably too long anyway (with the silly poem and all) so I'll just say this this time. I pray things work out. God bless! :)

    P.S. I wasn't talking about the deleted comment that was just a double of this one. :)

  7. I don't know what happened either. I did see it but now it's gone and says I deleted it, which I didn't. Oh, wells. I liked the poem btw. Innocent tone with a morbid ending. Cleaver.
    Thanks for your sympathy. I talked to my prof and he was gracious enough to give me an extension. :)

  8. Thanks!
    LOL yeah, the ending of that poem was possibly a bit too morbid. Perhaps that poem was meant to portray the danger in life if one strays from a thankful heart, and instead puts their focus on worldly and futile things. On questions they believe they need answered, or wants they believe to be needs. Placing no trust in their keeper and finding no pleasure with the life they live, they reject the obvious truth and instead pursue a deception based on worldly desires. Then, all too late, as they are snatched away by the enemy who they perceived to be a friend, they find the truth that, a mind set on the flesh is death. :) I like making pretend meanings to such simple poems. (haha this comment is so pretentious!) but if you read this far then you win...some comment free time. ;)

    Glad things worked out for ya! Hope the rewrite goes well! Keep Jesus first!
    God bless! :)